Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash

Disclaimer (Add at the top)

Note: This post was originally written during a season of intense stress when our family was navigating court issues, multiple kids’ schedules, and the daily chaos that comes with ADHD and parenting a large blended family.

I’ve left the heart of this post mostly unchanged because it reflects the reality of what mental overload can look like in the middle of it. If you’ve ever wondered why some parents seem scattered, anxious, or constantly juggling ten things at once… this is a glimpse inside that mental loop.

---

Focus… What Focus?

It’s a normal morning at work.

A random thought enters my head.

What day is today?

It’s Tuesday.

And the mental gymnastics begin.

---

The Mental Checklist Begins

Does 7 have any extra dance classes tonight?

I check the phone calendar.

Yes, she does.

What normal classes does she have tonight?

I check the handwritten color-coded schedule sitting on my desk.

Everything.

It’s her long dance night starting at 5 pm.

I keep the handwritten schedule on my desk so it’s quick and easy to find. I don’t have to scroll through my phone looking for the picture I took of it back in August.

---

Coordinating the Evening Chaos

I need to send Mr. Chaos the schedule for tonight so he remembers to get 7 ready for dance before picking up 5, 6, and 8 from school… and me from work.

What time does she have to be there again?

5 pm.

Wait.

What day is today again?

I glance at my computer.

Tuesday.

Does she have to wear the special leotard tonight?

I check the schedule again.

No.

That’s tomorrow.

---

The Food Problem

7 will need a big snack before the school pickups.

What are we eating for dinner?

I check my meal plan/work hours log.

Dinner: Waffles and fruit.

Every Monday when I write my tentative work schedule, I also meal plan. My work hours affect dinner, and dinner affects dance nights.

But wait.

Do we have all the groceries?

Do we have meat?

Because 5 doesn’t like waffles, and she cannot survive on an apple for dinner.

Do we need to go to the store?

When would I even go to the store?

I can’t do sausage. 5 recently decided she doesn’t like sausage anymore.

She only eats bacon.

Do we have bacon?

I honestly can’t remember.

Maybe there’s something else she can eat if I don’t make it to the store.

Wait.

We have ham.

She’ll have to eat that even though it isn’t her favorite.

---

Vehicle Logistics

When am I even going to make dinner?

Oh no.

I need a ride later tonight because Mr. Chaos needs the van after dance.

We only have one vehicle.

That is a higher priority than dinner.

Today is Tuesday.

2 can usually pick me up.

I text her quickly:

“What time do you get off work? Can you pick me up tonight?”

If I can’t find a ride, I’ll have to pick Mr. Chaos up in the middle of the night.

We work for the same company, so sometimes I clock in for extra hours while waiting for rides.

---

Twenty Minutes Later

Twenty minutes have passed.

I need to get actual work done.

But new thoughts keep interrupting.

Wow.

It’s freezing in here.

My fingers aren’t working.

I really need to go to the bathroom but I should finish this task first.

My fingers are frozen.

I can’t work like this.

Fine.

Bathroom break.

Warm hands.

Back to work.

---

Wait… I Forgot Something

On the walk to the bathroom I realize:

I never sent Mr. Chaos the pickup schedule.

If I wait too long he’ll forget or mix up the kids.

Also… should he go to the store?

Wait.

No.

I already solved that.

We’re making ham.

I type out the pickup schedule quickly and send it.

Couple things checked off the mental list.

Back to work.

---

An Hour Later…

The thoughts return.

When will we eat?

How long will it take to cook?

Will I need to cook between dance classes?

Do I have a ride yet?

I check my phone.

2 can pick me up.

She gets off at 10 pm.

Perfect.

Now I can probably work some extra hours tonight.

I focus so much better late at night when no one is interrupting me.

---

The Distraction Avalanche

Back to work.

I should organize a can drive fundraiser for 7’s dance fees.

When was the last time I updated her fundraiser page?

I check my phone.

Three text messages.

Two dance team app notifications.

Fifteen emails.

Most of them spam.

One text from Carter’s advertising a sale.

One text from Mr. Chaos asking for a password.

One text from my mom needing to talk.

The dance app has:

• New rehearsal schedules
• Something about costumes

I mentally bookmark both for later.

Send the password to Mr. Chaos.

Text my mom back.

“I’ll try calling after work.”

Focus, Mrs. Chaos.

---

Lunch… Kind Of

My stomach growls.

It’s almost 11 am.

I drink half my tea to quiet my stomach.

I need to work until 11:30.

11:23.

Close enough.

I grab a tiny post-it and scribble the entire evening schedule.

Five minutes.

Several erases.

Finally done.

Lunch time.

---

Multitasking Lunch

I microwave my food.

Open TikTok.

Zone out.

Then sit down and start working again while eating.

Suddenly I realize…

I forgot to clock out for lunch.

I clock out late.

My food is already cold.

I’m used to it.

The Email That Stops My Heart

A new email appears.

From the lawyer.

My heart starts racing.

I remind myself:

It will be okay.
We have temporary custody.
It cannot be the end of the world.

I open the email.

It’s nothing urgent.

Just updates.

But my body doesn’t care.

For months I was having 8–10 panic attacks a day.

Logically I know everything is okay.

But convincing my nervous system is another story.

---

Emergency Coping Plan

I search for ways to stop panic attacks quickly.

Fifteen minutes later I find three techniques.

I write them on sticky notes.

I stick them to my monitor.

Quick reference for the next time my brain decides we’re in danger.

Finally… Focus

Back to work.

This time I manage to stay focused until the end of my shift.

I clock out.

And now the real exhausting part of my day begins.

The second shift.

Parenting.